That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
