if you like me you must not know who I am
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude i'm inner monologue high
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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