I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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