we're blogging at a bar
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
