she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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