I puked a lego.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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