Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
