Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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