Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
