he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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