I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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