yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
