I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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