There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Who died my cat blue again?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
