I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
