her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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