I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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