wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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