so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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