i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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