He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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