how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
