We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
