thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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