Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
