so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
