Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
