Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
