I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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