would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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