yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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