Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
