good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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