community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
