jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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