Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
