worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
