what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
