i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
