We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
