It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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