I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
