I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
