I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
