My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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