Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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