my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
