Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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