Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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