So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
