She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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