First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
