Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
