He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
